My biggest enemy,
And my greatest love,
For you, my friend, I can only have
A love hate relationship with.
You see, it’s a permanent game of tug of war with you. You tug me closer and closer to you, and I allow it to happen, because, you, you’re so beautiful. You’re everything they described. You’re the perfect set of words, you’re rhythmic perfection, and I fall; I fall hard. I scrape my feet on this hard earth, and as much as I feel I need it and love it , It hurts me.
It hurts me not only then, it hurts me when I tug aswell. It hurts me, when I pull at you, because I’m trying so hard. So hard to please you, stretching every last bit of nerve ending attached to muscle attached to bone. Every bit of hard work, to succeed in making you love me, but with every tug, it feels like we distance.
Yet I cannot hate you, for you, you’re my only solace, my only escape, and damn you, for doing this to me. Because, you, you’re toxic. With every tug of yours, you pull me closer yet I feel so distant and with every tug of mine, I pull you closer, yet I see you, go away.
Go away, to someone else, someone less deserving, someone with more money, someone with more materialistic objects.
Why don’t you realise that I’m trying so hard.
So hard. All for you, all in vein,
All this pain and disdain;
That’s all I fear,
Yet that’s all I see,
That’s all i feel,
And that’s what I live.
Well, What can I say,
You my friend, I can only have a love hate relationship with.
You, who tug, and tug, and tug, and me trying, yet all in dismay.
For your tug, gives me hope,
Even if false.
And you tug and tug and tug,
Till all I can do is watch my skin and nerve endings and muscles and bones tear away,
Until all that’s left is a corpse,
Whose last visual is the image of someone so beautiful, yet dangerously unachievable.